Go Back To Your Own Country! Poetry Recital At Oxford University Islamic Society, 2015

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Interview with MuslimView’s Masud Ahmed Khan

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True Stories: The Rise and Fall Of Aylesbury Asians (1991/1992) Part 2

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Before I begin this second, extended memoir of the Aylesbury Asians saga, I must give an apology. All that is written here is but fragments from my flawed memory and perception, so I ask those whom I have missed out to forgive me, and to those who disagree with my version of things, you are more than entitled to pull me up. May Allah give us the wisdom to say what is beneficial and leave out the nonsense! Ameen! My intention in sharing these stories is to shine a light on the past, with the hope that it brings cheer and nostalgia, which enriches our present moments and futures. I would also like to thank all the people I have mentioned in these accounts for making our collective lives richer, funnier and greater, both then and now. Alhamdulillah, in Aylesbury, us Paks have grown up together, inhaled the same air, walked the same streets and chilled in the same parks. Long may it continue! Ameen!

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(SATIRE) ATTENTION: LEAKED MEMO-ISLAMIC PLOT TO DOMINATE ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRIES BY 2030

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(This memo was discovered online by freedom activist, Bobby Tomminson, using extensive investigative journalism and google searches, for example, evil-Muslim-plots, Islamic-invasion-plan and all-Muslims-are-ISIS- though he later had to receive counselling for mistyping Muslim-Bomb to Muslim-bumb.)

MEMO: FOR ALL ENGLISH-SPEAKING MUSLIMS

GUIDANCE ON GAINING DOMINION OVER EUROPE AND NORTH AMERICA BY 2030

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

First, we will infiltrate the language, word by word. We will demand that one or two of our words are adopted to promote community cohesion. So instead of common words like magazine, we will replace it with… (wait, magazine is already from Arabic- makhzan/khazana) Okay, instead of their numbers, we will replace them with Arabic numerals… (oh, hang about, the numbers are already Arabic), well, instead we will replace words they are fond of like alcohol.. (oh, that’s from al-kuhul- Arabic again) and when they get older, they will live in one of our words- bungalow… (but that’s already from Bengali/Hindi/Urdu).

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The Two Strange Men Of Kashgar

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One day, two men were arrested at the Id Gah mosque in Kashgar and sent away for cultural citizenship education. Onlookers, rather stunned, watched as the men were ushered into the police van, while the accompanying officers scanned around for potential trouble. No one stirred as the officers jumped in the back of the van, next to the men, who were also seated silently. The authorities were expecting a massive uproar from the locals, especially as intelligence had uncovered that these two men were revered as holy men or healers, who lived on the streets and could heal supernaturally. But there was no resistance; no struggles. The locals seemed pacified and the two men just sat there calmly. Just as the van pulled away, a local grocer woman called out: “see you again, insha Allah.”

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The Great Replacement

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Let’s implement the Great Replacement
Let’s make the world supreme again!

Let’s replace the fear of the other
With the cheer of true brothers

Let’s replace the blaming of immigrants
With the blaming of ignorance

Let’s replace the scourge of racial supremacy
With the urge for common humanity

Let’s replace the illusion of racial supremacy
With the fusion of racial diversity

Let’s replace the sentiment of “they’re invading us,”
With the sentiment of “they’re guests for us.”

Let’s replace the darkness of cultural ignorance
With the understanding of cultural difference

Let’s replace the kneejerk to separate and withdraw
With cooperating for the common good and the law

Let’s replace the vermin of extremist violence
With the sacred sermons of listening silence

Let’s replace the fifth columns of conspiracy
With the true solemn acts of charity

Let’s replace the fake news on racial extermination
And take views on racial invigoration

Let’s replace the ghettos of hatred and malice
With the gardens of love and compassion

Let’s replace the dread of Trojan horses, hidden
With the sincere search for the truth within

Let’s replace the desire to nuke a whole race
With the desire to invigorate the human race

Let’s replace the fear of Muslims and Islam
With true knowledge to avert future harm

Let’s implement the Great Replacement
Let’s make the world supreme again!