An Ode To Nikki Haley

Nikki Haley, I’m your friend,
Coz you’re such a smarty!
Your policies, I will never offend
So can I come to your party?
I’d love to eat some Trumpy treats!
With Zionists so hearty!
I just ordered a confederate flag
So can I come to your party?
I’d love to sit with piles of wit
Like you and Netanyahu
And see if you can pronounce the names of
Honduras, Palau and Togo.
You kicked ass in the UN
You cussed them like a yardie
One hundred and twenty-eight lost out
Coz they can’t come to your party!
Don’t worry I won’t shame you up
Or refer to you as Nimrata
I’ll hang upon your every word
Like Geeta, you’re my Rama!
Hanging out with you and Trump
It’s like being on safari!
Your policies I can not offend
Let me come to your party!!!

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The Rise of Trump and Baghdadi

A New Yorker called Donald Trump
With Latinos and Muslims, he had the hump!
For him all the Latinos were a bunch of druggies
And Muslims were a national security worry.

He’d flick his quiff and pick and sniff
While screaming firebrand speeches
The Muslims angered him so much
He’d go all pink like peaches!

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Raiders of the Lost Ramadan

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“Quickly, Indiana!” Screamed his young sidekick

“Grab and bag that Ramadan

Before the beasts come quick!”

 

Indiana held his breath, outstretching his fingers

The kufi on his head slipping, sweat beginning to linger

That jewel, that priceless treasure stood

Tantalizing to his finger tips

Shining like an unearthly maid

Aromatic as a tulip

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